Outsourcing in the year 0 wasn’t a smart idea.

There seems in every person is a threshold, a line where the page breaks and we go “fuck this” in our heads and reside to pulling triggers, kicking chairs or taking big leaps from buildings. Or simply resort to change. Somehow change becomes an ugly word equated to weakness and a foolish path to better ourselves.

Was it when Jesus spoke of sins and commands that drove people to no longer resort to their own judgment of right and wrong, but to some external set of rules? Religion seemed to be this new product that came with a handy ctrl-alt-delete button that would stop everything and let you start from the beginning. Confessing proved to be a well thought of concept which brought us only so far. Try thinking about religion as outsourcing, when you put your trust into an externality, you depend on it. But when that company shuts down, we are left with that same know-how we now call “culture” and a white space where there used to be divine meaning. How do we remedy this?

There is change, and radical change. Some people resort to the latter. Suicide basically means someone is so sick of something that he sees absolutely no better outcome of this situation than to take his own life. Or is that the last crumb of control over our own lives that we lost when Catholicism was still considered a good idea (think of it as Windows in ‘95) and got back after the big Enlightenment era but haven’t found any proper use of it.

“The other day I woke up way too early all by myself, everyone around me was still sleeping as the sunlight hitting the white walls scattered all over the room announcing the birth of a new day which promised an ounce more than any other. The moment I rode my bike past this violently blossoming tree the smell of it came as a giant relief that there still is something alive in this dead block of a city. It was the kind of a smell that would bring about anyone considering “radical change”.”